In Sir Thomas More’s opus, “Utopia,” there is no money.

In this fantasy land, there is simply no need; I mean, who needs money, really?

As such, politicians are trustworthy and awesome, because, since there’s no money, there’s no bribery. (Sadly, this also means no compelling cable dramas like “The Wire.”)

And – tone turns sarcastic – I guess that in this groovy “Utopia,” when artists like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, MGMT, Philip Glass, and John Waters perform, their road crews, sound guys, bus drivers, and booking agents all simply get “paid” with organic greens from the local co-op.

After all, in this magical “Utopia,” the Fleet Foxes’ tour bus conveniently runs on bok choy.

Please.

More like Sir Thomas Bore.

I mean, Tommy, we love ya’, but some of us have to pay the bills. For those of us in the real world, no one wants PG&E killing the lights during movie night, right?

Right.

So if you got some loose change kicking around the sofa, consider tossing it our way. The Library is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit, so the donations are tax-deductible. And since we’re so nice, we’ll give you a reward for said donation. Yes, by donating, you can get a Hippie Sven mug. Go here.

In fact, at the time of this writing, a $250 donation gets you two tickets to any upcoming show in 2012 – even the ones that sell out in under 2.3 seconds (limited to the first ten pairs.)

So yeah.

Seriously, we joke and kid and stuff, but any lil’ bit you can afford would be great, because sadly, we don’t live in “Utopia” just yet.

Which brings me back to More’s masterpiece. Despite my sardonic tone, there are a few really cool elements to his idyllic fantasy-land.

As any fan of literature knows, in this glorious Utopia of no money, standing armies, or petty crime, Hippie Sven kindly rules as a benevolent dictator where children learn to harvest patchouli at a young age and cannabis is the national bird.

Whenever Kind King Hippie Sven enters the room, a brass band plays “Brain Damage.”