On Munro’s Nobel win and why American authors don’t get committee love, Toby Keith’s wretched tune, hatin’ on the Swedes, Canadians’ emotional impenetrability, more stereotypes, etc.

Internet “experts” say “don’t post blogs” at 6:04 pm on a Tuesday- no one will read ’em.  Apparently you can maximize your readership at certain points of the day and now’s a bad time.

Guess what?  We’re like, whatever.

That’s because we know 96% of our readers work in offices.  They work hard, likely stay late, and if reading our lil’ bloggy helps them pass the time before getting “drinks after work” (such a repellent song) well then great.  That’s what I used to do.  Was completely worthless from 5-6 pm.  More like 4-6 pm actually.  Couldn’t focus.  Still can’t!

Anyway, this blog is non-commercial in nature and it’s about why American authors don’t win more Nobel prizes in the field of literature.

It wasn’t our idea, however; “original ideas” aren’t our “bag.”  Rather, here’s the article from NPR looking at why we Yanks don’t get much Committee love.  Why is that?

Wait – I have a theory.   The “committee” is located in Stockholm.  As in Stockholm, Sweden.  Do the math.

Nobel winner Alice Munro: Further proof of a shadowy Swedish/Canadian alliance

Nobel winner Alice Munro: Further proof of a shadowy Swedish/Canadian alliance

Don’t just take our word for it:

Bloomberg’s Hephzibah Anderson of “the perversity of this enduring snub to the likes of Roth, Oates, Thomas Pynchon and Cormac McCarthy.” And in The New Yorker, Ian Crouch , “Why don’t more Americans win the Nobel prize?”

He puts it down to European snobbery: “The Swedes had decided that we were, as Sinclair Lewis remarked back in 1930, still ‘a puerile backwoods clan.’

And while we admit Americans can be, well, a bit trashy and uber-weird, our beef with the Swedes is just a diversionary tactic (and can you blame me?  Blaming Swedes is what got me through college.)

In fact, the “real” reality is that as Americans, we’re used to being the best at everything because, well, we are.  Duh American Exceptionalism?  For example: Americans consume more calories from sweeteners on average each day than anyone else in the world.  (Take that Bangladesh! [they’re #10.])

Anyway, it just doesn’t compute.  The idea that a foreigner is better than us at something is so, well, foreign. 


Well, looks like the only option at this point is to take the high road.  The most recent Nobel Prize winner, Alice Munroe, is Canadian, and that’s close enough and pretty cool I guess (and we also have her book “Dear Life” in stock.  [CMA: Commercial blog alert!])

So whatever, we tip our hat to her and to her countrymen and women, who also happen to be the funniest (see below) and most emotionally unavailable people in the world.  Ahhh they’ve bested us again!

So congrats, guys.  You rule.

Now excuse me while I go mainline Splenda.

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