First, I don’t think Henry Miller “dated” anyone. The whole dinner and a movie thing didn’t seem to be his thing. The whole flowers and chocolate thing? Not his bag. And he was most certainly not into foreplay.

As my therapist astutely noted, foreplay is truly a lost art.

But that doesn’t stop us from daydreaming now does it?

Not daydreaming about foreplaying with Miller (per se), but, in the context of this Huffington Post article, thinking about…wait for it…”literally matchmaking!” Namely, brainstorming about an alternative universe where characters from different books get it on.

Some examples: Holden Caufield of Catcher in the Rye with Esther Greenwood of the Bell Jar. Awkward.

Or how about Willie Wonka and Mary Poppins? (Please refrain from edible underwear jokes. Sooo predictable.)

Or how about Arya Stark and Ender Wiggin? To which I ask…Who the hell is Arya Stark and Ender Wiggin?

Anyway, that’s the fun thing about daydreaming: it’s free.

That said, I’m still stumped. Who’d be Henry Miller’s literary match? It’s a tough one, though I do have some theories…