What do you mean by that, you may ask? I mean that the Arcade Fire tickets sold out in negative one minute. It bent time.
You see: tickets went on sale at noon. But by 12:01 it was sold out. All ~300 tickets couldn’t have been sold in a minute, so it actually bent time. It went back in time, and sold tickets in the past. (Time is a curved thing; it’s relative.) Pretty trippy.
By the way, they’re playing here, at the Henry Miller Library, in majestic Big Sur, on October 5th (same night as GBV reunion show in San Fran. G-B-V!!! G-B-V!!!)
Note: Robert Pollard of Guided by Voices is, by far, the greatest songwriter of all time. No one has written more amazing songs. Discuss.
But I digress. This Arcade Fire/Steven Hawking business also makes you wonder: clearly, the Arcade Fire time-bending episode was the fastest sellout in Henry Miller Memorial Library history, but how have other sold-out shows compared?
Well, our interns pulled a report, and here you go. A couple of surprises in there! (Note: each show is notated by the time in which it sold out; shortest to first)
1. Arcade Fire, 2010: -1:04 minutes (see above)
2. Animal Collective, 2009: 2:34 minutes
3. Band of Horses, 2010: 2:45 minutes (Animal Collective breathes a sigh of relief!)
4. Phillip Glass, 2009: 3:56 minutes
5. Yo La Tengo, 2010: 6:23 minutes
6. Mike’s Powerpoint presentation of the history of Friend, his van, including a tour of “The Crow’s Nest,” 2010: 8:13 minutes
7. Patti Smith, 2008: 10:23 minutes
I’ll stop now, assuming no one is still reading.